1. If you talk too much, don’t expect that “I’ll call you later” to be more than empty words, flippantly said to get away from you…never to return again. Yes! This was the first answer given by both age groups! So, if you have a naturally bubbly, outgoing personality, make sure you skip the caffeine before your first date. The last thing you want to do is to rev up your motor mouth, and kill the guy with word slaughter! Tone it down. Ask him questions. Let him talk. Keep your mouth shut. Listen. Make your conversation a two-way exchange and you’ll improve your chances for a second rendezvous. 2. Their Internet spying turned up some crazy, scary, dirt on you. If they haven’t Googled you or checked out your Facebook profile before your first date, you can be sure they will before your second. Doing their “research” on you was a hands-down, positively must-do, dating ritual for these men. They want to know all they can about you before they take things further, so expect to by spied on via the Internet. Also, expect that they will ask their friends about you. If they find out you’re a girl with a nasty, “slept with the whole football team” dating history, they will cancel out. That’s not the sort of “team sport” these good-guy-types are interested in. 3. They’re scared away by your troubled family. A first date isn’t the best time to tell them about your crack addicted, alcoholic, incarcerated, abusive family members. Your life may be a sad story, and hopefully you escaped the fate of your family history, but a first date isn’t the time to “Release the Kraken” of family monsters. That said, if a good guy senses that you’re following in the family footsteps with your own list of scary habits, they will bolt. If you have problems, get the help you need. That way you can show your willingness to take personal responsibility, and improve your chances for a callback. 4. If you talk too much about your Ex, you’ll be hearing about how his dog died. A second date will be cancelled because his dog died (and he doesn’t even own a dog), or he has a big test to study for (and finals are over). You get the picture. These guys don’t want to hear all the gory details of how your Ex did you wrong. Save the dramatic story line for your girlfriends or a therapist. This new man may be into threesomes, but not the “ghost of an ex boyfriend” kind. 5. He seems to be looking at you and talking to you like you’re his sister. There’s no spark of attraction or romance. He’s not that in to you. You can tell because he’s not bragging and puffing up his chest to show you how macho he is. If the tone of your first date ventures in to “friends zone” all too quickly, you can expect you won’t make the cut for a second date. Another cue would be if he inadvertently comments about how you don’t look anything like your profile picture. You have to admit, your picture was a little too flattering. “Your bad” on that one. 6. You didn’t mind your manners. Being on your phone too much, during that first date, was a big time deal breaker for these guys. Why spend time with you, when you’d rather be carrying on a text conversation with someone else? Also, being late for your date was a real frustration. Lateness sends the message that you don’t care about them and their time commitments. It’s a selfish, self-centered maneuver. Manners mattered to these men, especially the one about putting your cell phone away to give them your undivided attention. 3 Interesting Facts About The Sample Group Of Men 1. The college-age men didn’t think that drinking too much on a first date was an absolute “deal breaker”. Their take on that was, “It happens”. 2. There were a couple of guys who said that they intentionally did NOT spy on you via the Internet before your date, as they wanted to get to know you first without a pre-conceived idea of who you are. But, beware; the “no-spy-guys” were in the minority. 3. The men I interviewed for this blog were cream-of-the-crop, successful, and Ivy League educated. Why not listen to what they had to say? After all, you deserve a second date with a gold-medal guy! Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” this weekend for “9 Dating Do’s And Don’ts”, “A Man’s Advice For First Dates”, and “Tips For Coping With Wedding Stress”. Empowering Talk Radio from “Your Life Coach”!
Board Certified Life Coach[/caption]