My boyfriend of 2 years has a long history of dating, and sleeping with, many women. I know that he cheated on his last girlfriend, but I cheated on my husband, so I have no room to judge.
I don’t trust him, I know he sometimes texts old girlfriends, but I also know he’s been faithful to me. I’m afraid my distrust will drive him away.
…and you may be right…failure to find the “trust” you need in this relationship may drive the two of you apart. What you both have brought to your relationship is baggage, truckloads of it! You both have a history of cheating, so it is reasonable for either of you to mistrust.
I have been known to caution someone who’s thinking of entering into a relationship with a known cheater, as people are more apt to repeat past behavior. Yet, we do not live in a perfect world.
If you are concerned about your mistrust driving him away (even though you do trust that he has been faithful) I’m guessing that he’s been warning you of this possibility. If you want to keep your man you MUST pay heed! Don’t turn a blind eye to his connections with old girlfriends.
Instead, approach this issue with open, honest conversation that is voiced in a matter-of-fact, taking-care-of-business way.
Pay attention to your tone of voice. Take the accusing, whining, nagging out of these conversations. Leave that for your bitch sessions with girlfriends.
We women are emotional creatures and too much emotion makes our men crazy. Save the crazy for the bedroom and you’ll have a win/win on your hands!
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
• Could some of your mistrust be coming from within and the fact that you don’t trust yourself in this relationship?
• What steps do you need to take to change the way you relate to your boyfriend regarding this particular issue?
• What do you get from this relationship that motivates you to do the hard work of learning to trust and change?
• Is your boyfriend’s behavior a Relationship Red Flag?
Listen to The Joan Jerkovich Show this weekend for commentary on “Relationship Red Flags” and the “Pitfalls of Denying Red Flags” in a relationship! Empowering talk radio from “Your Life Coach”!