My boyfriend doesn’t put the toilet seat down and this makes me crazy! I’ve told him that all men are supposed to know to do this but somehow he didn’t get the memo. He doesn’t see why I can’t just put it down myself before I use it. His reasoning is that he has to put it up when he uses the toilet after me. How can we resolve this?
Arrrgggghhhh! Dare I say Dump Him? No. That’s too extreme. This reminds me of a fond memory I have of my stepdaughter “schooling” her brothers on this issue. When they use the designated “guys toilet” in the house, we girls don’t care what they do, but when they use the community toilet and leave the seat up…watch out! This incident turned into a funny exchange on toileting habits that embarrassed and shamed the guys into our way of thinking. Girls Rule!
On a serious note, the etiquette that I was taught was that men are always, always, always supposed to put the toilet seat down! They’re also not supposed to fart in the car or belch at the dinner table. That said, do all men follow the rules? No. But some are more trainable than others.
Consider this one of those relationship negotiations the two of you have to work through to the point of reaching a compromise that works for both of you. If he’s not willing to compromise on this one (meaning, he must agree to Always Put The Toilet Seat Down! lol) make sure you talk at dinner tonight about your menstrual period, disposing of soiled tampons or whatever gross girly thing strikes your fancy!
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
- What methods for negotiating and compromise have you and your boyfriend used that help you move forward?
- Is this a battle you must win, or is there space for compromise?
- Is this issue part of a bigger picture where he is unwilling to compromise on issues that bother you?
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Board Certified Life Coach
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