My husband has gotten himself in to trouble with drinking, and I know he’s been trying to curb the habit, but we recently were at a party with family and friends where he was getting sloppy and loud. It made me want to pack up and go home early.
He knows his drinking too much makes me mad, so at the party he was sneaking around with his gang of drinking buddies, and they were hitting it hard, downing shots and chugging everything they could get their hands on. I could see trouble brewing from the corner of my eye, but I never know whether to leave him be or go over to him and try to get him to stop drinking or slow down.
I don’t want to be the nagging, controlling wife, but I know he usually regrets his behavior the next day once he’s sober. Should I help him monitor his drinking at parties or not?
Your man has a drinking problem. You know it. He knows it. Now is the time to get serious and look at what can be done about it.
I’ve said before I have great compassion for people who have trouble with substance abuse. Like any addictive process, whether it is too much shopping, or golf, or working, or video gaming; throw in to the mix a chemical substance and it’s a game changer when it comes to curbing the problem or trying to stop.
The first step toward addressing your problem is to ascertain how serious your drinking is. According to the NIAAA, National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, here’s the test to determine your risk:
Men at risk for a drinking problem drink more than 4 drinks on any single day AND more than 14 drinks total per week. For Women the numbers are more than 3 per day AND more than 7 per week.
Did your husband have more than 4 drinks the night of the party where you said he got sloppy and loud? I’m guessing he did.
For starters, the NIAAA recommends you try these things to curb your drinking:
• Keep track of how many standard size drinks you have
• Preplan your drinking and budget how much you plan to drink
• Space your drinking with non-alcoholic drinks
• Pace yourself. You don’t have to match your buddies drink for drink
• Get some food in your stomach and eat while drinking
• Avoid your drinking triggers
• Avoid the people, places and time of day you like to drink
• Handle your urges, talk yourself out of drinking
• Get active and put your mind on something else
• Push through the urge to drink without grabbing the bottle
• Practice saying “No” to alcohol
BOTTOM LINE: If you’ve tried all these methods for cutting back for 2-3 months and there’s no reduction in your drinking, it’s time to get help.
Dear Wife. Do you need to be the booze police? Should you help him monitor his drinking at parties? Follow this blog site for part 2 on your question.
Size matters! Find out the sizes for standard drinks when you’re tracking your 4 drinks per day by reading my blog “R-U-Drinking Too Much”. Then listen to my caller Larry talk about his “Problem Drinking”. At least your husband didn’t break a beer bottle over anyone’s head??
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