Some days I just feel so down. I was recently laid off from my job of 5 years and I haven’t found any work yet. I feel like the only things that take my mind off it are drinking and T.V. I’m no alcoholic but it helps to pass the time.
I’m single so I don’t have a family to support. I’m also getting unemployment so I’m not in financial trouble. My life was my work and now I feel totally useless. My friends all have jobs and I think they look down on me because of my situation. I’m just so bored. What should I do?
First of all, don’t think that your friends all look down on you. You’re no slacker if you had a job for 5 years that you got laid off from. Stop letting those negative thoughts roll around in your head! Stop beating yourself up with your negative thoughts!
Let’s talk some more about how negative thinking can get you down.
Reread what you wrote, and I’m sure it’s just the tip of the iceberg over how your thinking is contributing to your feeling down…I feel totally useless…I’m bored…my friends look down on me. I’ll bet you could easily add to this list.
People who have a habit of letting negative thinking steam roll their thoughts can struggle with depression and low self-esteem. Think about it. If you had someone sitting next to you saying all the nasty, degrading things to you all day long that you say to yourself, it would, understandably, get you down. That, or you’d tell them to get lost. Or worse, you’d punch them out!
You need to work at “punching out” your negative thinking. Recognize it as a habit you’ve let yourself fall in to.
Start noticing when your thoughts are turning on you. Notice when you’re thinking less of yourself and downing yourself in your mind.
Once you notice your negative, self deprecating thoughts you have three choices: find a way to stop them, or talk back to them, or drown them out with positive thoughts. I’m sure you can find a way to tamp down these thoughts using one of these three methods. Keep at it until you break the habit of negative self-talk.
Speaking of your struggle with getting a job, I’ve had talks with many callers on my show about this. It’s a sad fact of life that many people are getting laid off and, just like you, are having a hard time finding another job. Search my show archives at joanjerkovich.com to listen to those podcasts. There’s a wealth of information there.
But, in brief, you will need to treat your job search like a part-time job. Beef up your resume, keep improving your job skill set, try and get face time with the businesses you’re most interested in working for, be mindful of your appearance. No vegging on the couch for you every day, at least not until you’ve done the work of looking for another job. Make it a priority each week day.
Also, there’s no need to feel bored and useless. I want you to take out a sheet of paper and list all the things you could do in your community to get out with people, to volunteer, to join a new club, to be of service, to find an unexplored form of entertainment. I don’t care what you put on your list, just make the damn list!
Then, when the desire hits to grab the TV remote and bottle of booze, grab your list instead. Get off your pity potty and get your arse out the door. People need you and you need them.
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
- What can you do for yourself today to turn around the depressive feelings?
- What activities can you substitute for drinking and watching TV?
- What positive attributes do you have that you need to tell yourself to build up your self-esteem during this difficult time?
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