My ex husband and I have tried to make our relationship work, moving in and out with each other about four times since our divorce 15 years ago. We finally bought a condo last year together, one year ago, and we still fight. Our fights are now upsetting our 8-year-old granddaughter. It’s such a long story, and there are a lot more details, but I would really appreciate help because I’m wanting to give up again to save my kids broken hearts.
I read and re-read your question, as I know this is serious business for you. Especially since I can see how hard you have fought to make your relationship with your Ex work!
Create A Working Divorce, A Divorce That Works. Unfair Divorce With Court Challenges. Ex’s Lies Create Difficulty In Divorce. Divorcing A Liar, What You Need To Do. LISTEN to these topics on “The Joan Jerkovich Show,” this Saturday from 6-7am; or Sunday from 9-10pm. Listen to 1150 KSAL as “Your Life Coach” brings you “Empowering Talk Radio!”
Now, you seem to be asking for an opinion on whether or not you should move out of the condo you share with your Ex, since your fighting is affecting your granddaughter. In my humble opinion, stated in one word, that word is “Yes”.
…And I will take my opinion one step further and tell you that I feel you should not only move out, but you should begin to build a life for yourself that no longer involves trying to live with your Ex. You and your Ex can still be friendly. You can be social companions who go places together. You can even attend family events together. But, living together seems to set both of you up for fight mode.
Work toward carving out a new type of relationship with your Ex. One that involves spending only a tolerable amount of time together, where you can both maintain civility.
After all these years of trying to get along, I’m guessing you both know what triggers your fights. Avoid those situations. If you find yourselves starting to bicker and fight, go your separate ways. You can do this when you have separate living spaces.
I’m proud of you for asking your question, as I know your granddaughter’s best interests are foremost on your mind. And, you are correct to understand that a family relationship that is always in turmoil, such as your fighting with your Ex, is hurtful to those we love.
Work to bring peace to your relationship with your Ex, and this could be one of the greatest gifts you give your children and grandchildren.
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
• In what ways do you think living apart will calm your relationship with your Ex?
• What type of “new” relationship would you like to have, or not have, with your Ex?
• How will you resolve to never live together again, since you’ve tried and failed at that so many times before?
• How do you think your family will support you in building a new and separate life for yourself?
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