After 5 years of dating, my girlfriend and I are finally getting married. She’s had a girl pal that is almost always whispering in her ear. I get the feeling her friend is making large requests and decisions about our upcoming wedding.
We both would prefer a smaller ceremony but my fiancée has been making unusual choices regarding the food, band, venue, and so on that I fear is just her friend influencing her. I mean, do we need a 12-piece Mariachi band or multiple chocolate fountains and ice sculptures?
I love my fiancée so much but she can be a bit susceptible to suggestion. How can I help her realize that we should have this wedding on our own terms, and within our comfort zone?
Talk, talk, talk to her. Communicate. Get in her ear and make sure that your voice comes through louder and clearer than her girlfriend’s opinions on what sort of wedding you’re going to have.
Wedding planning is one area where I totally side with the couple. Totally. Girlfriends, sisters, mothers, and wedding planners, the list of meddlers can be a long one, especially if your fiancé is prone to letting people make decisions for her.
Everyone can have an opinion on what sort of wedding you should have, but the only ones that count are those of you and your fiancé.
I’ve watched enough of those “Say Yes to the Dress” shows where the bride comes out beaming in a dress that she loves, only to be shot down with rude and insensitive comments from her posse that includes her mother, sister or overly dictatorial bridesmaid. Often, their vision for her wedding is that she choose a gargantuan, tooled-out, blinged-out, princess gown where her style is sleek and understated. Or vice versa. The bride wants to be a princess on her day, tiara included, and the couch sitters who are watching her try on dresses, try to dictate from the sidelines that she be more of a sexy siren. Not the bride’s vision for her special day. More times than not, these opinion hussies send the bride off in tears. Shame on them!
Don’t let anyone bully you and your fiancé into having anything other than the wedding of your dreams. Their dreams don’t count. This is your wedding, your dream.
Hold firm on this. If they’re married, tell them they already had their day. If they’re not, tell them to find their dream guy and have their own damn wedding. And, tell them that when that day comes, you promise to keep your nose out of planning their dream day.
Can you tell I feel strongly about this topic? Thanks for your question!
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
How will you communicate your feelings to your fiancé?
Why has your communication with your fiancé taken a back seat?
How can you use this opportunity to help your relationship grow?
How can you lovingly support your fiancé with being more assertive towards her friend and with making decisions for herself?
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Board Certified Life Coach
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