I broke up with my boyfriend for 2 weeks, but we got back together again. I thought we would give it another try because we’ve been together so long and all our friends are mutual, but I was happier when we were broken up. I’m 75% sure I should end my two-year relationship. Will I ever be 100% sure?
Will you ever be 100% sure? Can you ever be 100% sure of any change? In one word, “No”.
We are never 100% sure of any decision we make, yet your realization that you were “happier” when broken up is very telling. We often know the answer to what we want and need, but we let our head games throw us in to indecisiveness.
Dealing With Change. Change Of Move Uncovered Emotional Pain. Keep Moving Forward Through Change. LISTEN to these topics on “The Joan Jerkovich Show,” this Saturday from 6-7am; or Sunday from 9-10pm. Listen to 1150 KSAL as “Your Life Coach” brings you “Empowering Talk Radio!”
In your case, undoubtedly the time you’ve already invested in this relationship and the fact that you have so many mutual friends weighed heavily on your decision to give this relationship another try. One of the hardest parts of breaking up is having to change patterns, activities and habits that you’ve grown accustomed to. It’s like having to create a new life with new friends and possibly a new boyfriend and new people to hang out with. It’s hard, but worth it in the long run to not settle for being with someone you’re not happy with.
With any decision that is difficult for you to make, take the time to process that decision using methods that have worked well for you in the past. For some of us, it can be making out a list of pros and cons. For others, we need to discuss the decision with a friend to “bounce” it off of.
Spend some time with the decision. Let it sit in your mind for a while before taking the next steps toward implementing your new plan of action. That way, even though you’re not 100% sure, you can be more confident that the decision you made was the right one for you.
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• Without giving this much thought, answer this quickly: In your heart, do you feel you should breakup with your boyfriend?
• Using your response to the first question, what does your next step need to be?
• How can you explore your reasons for second-guessing your decisions in this or other matters in your life?
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