My family has been invited to my first cousin’s wedding this spring. It looks like a lot of fun and a bunch of my extended relatives are going but there’s one big problem, it directly conflicts with our son’s basketball tournament. The tournament is a rare opportunity for our high-schooler to show off his skills in front of some college coaches. It could possibly mean a scholarship for him.
Our whole family is close and I know they will be upset if we don’t go, but basketball is also very important to my son. Is there any way to make everyone happy?
My short response is that your first priority is to your son, not the family wedding. If you attend the basketball tournament, and your family get upset when you’re not at the wedding, so be it.
While there is no way to make everyone happy when you have a hard choice to make, that’s not to say that the family will be upset with you. If the family feels disappointed that you had a conflict, that’s not the same as saying that they disagree with your choice or are even disgruntled over your decision not to attend the wedding.
Your family members may simply wish that you could be at the wedding to enjoy the good times and create memories together. I guarantee, you won’t be the only family member who has a conflict and is unable to attend.
Another option could be to split up your family with one parent going to the wedding and the other going to the basketball tournament.
Whatever your choice, reframe your thinking on this. Don’t assume that your family will be upset. Assume instead that they understand you had a conflict and made the best decision you could, even if they wish you all could have been there to celebrate, your son included!
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
- Do you feel that the wedding or the basketball tournament is your first priority?
- How can you reframe your thinking from “upset” to “understanding”?
- Is there an option for your family to split their time between the two events?
Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” this weekend about “The Black Sheep in the Family”. How do you define who the “black sheep” in the family is? And, what are 4 tips for coping if you’re the unlucky family member with that label?
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Board Certified Life Coach
