4 Tips For Stepparents Who Are Dealing With Behavior Problems
Joan Jerkovich - June 16, 2015 3:29 pm
My stepson has ADD, but his mother doesn’t want him on medication so I have to put up with his bullshit. It’s affecting our marriage. Any advice?
This one is tough as there are a lot of parents who don’t believe in medicating their children (for various reasons) and your wife sounds strong in her belief.
First, do you feel that you have adequate information from which to make the decision to medicate or not? I tell people that you can always find an “opinion” on the Internet that will “fit” your belief in what you should (or should not) do, but that doesn’t make the information accurate or reliable.
That said, you need to first agree on what resources for information on managing ADD you will use to base your decisions on. That can be anything from the Medical Pediatric Associations, Behavioral Therapists, the local Shaman, Nutritionist or Energy Healer. Believe me, when it comes to health, people have strong opinions on what methods to use and to this I say…do what works for you!
After you gather the information, you can begin the process of discussing with your wife a plan for making your home life more peaceful. This will most likely focus on treatment for his ADD and management of behavioral issues.
If you have issues with your stepson’s behavior, try these 4 steps for making your home life more peaceful for all of you:
1. Together, with your wife, set up specific and clearly defined house rules.
2. Together, present the rules to your children.
3. Decide on consequences for breaking the rules.
4. Administer the consequences, together, as a united front.
As you tackle this issue, honor the fact that your stepson’s mother has the final say in how her child will be treated both medically and behaviorally in your home. Work with your wife to make a plan for how your home will function, and your marriage will reap the rewards, as will your stepson.
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- What resources for treatment of ADD can you and your wife agree upon?
- What can you do to prepare your attitudes for your couples negotiation on setting house rules, realizing that both of you will have to compromise?
- What can you set in place to remain committed and consistent in following your plan for running your home?
Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” this weekend for information on “What Are Healthy Versus Unhealthy Boundaries?” and “How To Set Boundaries With Consequences”. Listen also for the Kansas Wesleyan student talk about setting boundaries with college friends, and how he unknowingly saved a student’s life. Empowering Talk Radio from “Your Life Coach”!