I have a friend that always seems excited to make plans to go out but then at the last minute backs out of our plans with some lame excuse or doesn’t show up. She’s lots of fun but should I just give up on making plans with her?
If this friend has shown you often enough that she can’t be counted on, that her word and promises don’t have sticking power, then you don’t need to completely exclude her from your plans, but don’t hope for her to change her habits any time soon either. Make plans with her where other people are involved so that it doesn’t really matter if she shows up or not. If you have plans for just the two of you to meet, expect that she may not follow through so get ready to launch your Plan B. Your plan B could be lunch on your own or browsing through a local museum or treating yourself to something you normally wouldn’t.
Your other option is to confront her behavior to see if she’ll respect your friendship enough to quit standing you up. A word of warning here, even if she does a better job in the short-term, do not count on her behavior changing for the long haul. You could also quit making plans with her and drop her off of your friends list. I’m guessing you’ve already relegated this friendship to your “C” or “D” lists, so you may not miss her company much after all.
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- How much does this friendship mean to you?
- Do you think there is a possibility she will change if you confront her behavior?
- What other friendships could you spend time strengthening, instead of getting the run around from this one, undependable friend?