In my last relationship, I was involved with an abusive man who did drugs and was generally crazy. Recently I had a co-worker, for no reason, talk to me in such an angry, vicious way that it triggered the old feelings of abuse. How do I keep this from happening again?
The triggering of old emotional wounds can set you on a downward spiral. You don’t mention how long ago the abuse was, but judging by your reaction, I would say that you were deeply affected by this mistreatment. I’m truly sorry this had to happen to you! Moving beyond abuse can take years, or for some, a lifetime…
That said, there are things you can do to minimize those sad, angry, unwanted hurtful feelings when someone mistreats you. First, ask around about this co-worker. I’d place money on the fact that this person has a habit of treating others just like you were treated. Unless you frequently get this type of response from co-workers, know that the problem is not yours~they are the ones with the problem!
Other things you can do are build-up your self-esteem by involving yourself with activities, experiences and friends that you find affirming. Do an online search for information on recovering from abuse and building self-esteem. Find the things that make the most sense to your recovery and personal growth, and make them a routine part of your self-care.
If you find that things you can do on your own don’t give you the relief you want, schedule an appointment with a licensed counselor. Don’t give up on making this better for yourself…my heart goes out to you.
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
• Assuming you reported this co-worker to your supervisor, how can you minimize your interactions with them?
• What other emotional landmines and triggers have you fallen into?
• What strategies for coping have brought you relief when you’ve triggered in the past?
• What new plan for coping, as gleaned from your research, will you use to protect yourself from harm?
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