I’ve been trying to break up with my boyfriend, but he doesn’t seem to accept the fact that I’d like to remain a friend, but am not interested in being in a relationship anymore.
I feel bad about this because he’s kind of a loner, and I’m sort of the only person he’s close to, so I stay in touch.
How can I get him to understand I just want to be friends?
You stay in touch? In what way? Are you talking on the phone, texting, or still having sex?
Your question holds the answer to why he’s clueless about this breakup. If you want him to understand that you’re not a couple, you will need to go cold turkey on him. Stop the phone calls, texts, Facebook messaging and all means of communication…and, most especially, don’t circle around for the occasional sexual rendezvous.
If you’re doing any of these things, your “staying in touch” may appear to him that you haven’t really broken up. That, or he may feel that there’s a chance of getting back to where you used to be as boyfriend/girlfriend.
Some couples can pull off the “just friends” routine after a breakup but most cannot. Being friends with a girl is especially hard for guys because…you’ve heard me say it many times before…guys are hard-wired to want to have sex.
If there is any hope of turning your relationship in to a friendship, it’s best to have no contact for, let’s say, six months, and then give it a try; but don’t be surprised if he broaches the subject of your being “friends with benefits”.
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• What do you need to do to remain accountable to the~No Contact~rule for breaking up?
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This weekend on “The Joan Jerkovich Show”, listen to a Christian Woman’s frustration with dating where, as she says, men only seem to want a FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS arrangement. Having been out of the dating arena for over 20 years, she struggles to maintain her Christian values. What are the pitfalls of a FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS dating relationship? Tune in as “Your Life Coach” brings you “Empowering Talk Radio”!
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