I never liked my daughter’s boyfriend. I worried he was the abusive type. My fears came true when he physically shoved her around knocking her in to the walls. He left her with bruises, and she filed a police report and protection order, but now she’s talking about getting back with him. What do I do?
Sadly, the reality is that most victims take their abusers back multiple times before they break off with them for good. This has to be one of the hardest things for a parent to stand by and watch. I’m sure you feel helpless, and essentially you are.
5 Ways To Handle A Passive Aggressive Spouse. Deciding To Leave An Abusive Spouse. Abuse That’s Passive Aggressive Is Sneaky, Crazy-Making. LISTEN to these topics on “The Joan Jerkovich Show,” this Saturday from 6-7am; or Sunday from 9-10pm. Listen to 1150 KSAL as “Your Life Coach” brings you “Empowering Talk Radio!”
Your daughter will have to find her own way through this maze of emotional turmoil. That’s not to say that you can’t be there to support her in any way you can. Go on a fact-finding mission to learn what you can do to help her. Your local domestic violence organization is a great place to start.
One piece of advice I have is to see if she will sign a No-Contact contract. This is a written document that is a contract or pledge she makes with herself to have Zero contact with him. Just have her write out what she needs to do to avoid him completely… NO texts, Facebook, phone calls, driving by his place, and absolutely NO make-up sex (!)…Zero contact. (NO SEX because the hormones that are released with sex will chemically and biologically keep her feeling attached to him!)
The longer she can maintain Zero contact with him, the easier it will be to extract him from her life and her heart.
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- What plan do you have for learning more about protecting your daughter from domestic abuse?
- Knowing your daughter, how and when will she be the most receptive to your efforts to protect her?
- How will you share information on domestic abuse with your daughter?
- What frame of mind do you both need to be in before having this talk or sharing this information?
- What do you need to do to bolster your own emotional strength during these trying times?