My husband spends so much time on the Golf course I feel like he’s neglecting his duties as a father and husband. How can I get him to spend more time with us and less on golf?
Balance. That’s the first word that came to mind when I read your question. I’m a big believer in that we all need our leisure activities, our friends and hobbies, but if the balance of time we spend with others really does neglect our family…or is perceived to be neglecting our family…then we have a problem.
Maintaining a good relationship requires good negotiation skills. Both parties need to get their needs met, but they should not look solely to their partner to meet those needs. This is where negotiating with your husband for what you want and need comes in to play.
First, I suggest that you honor him by accepting his passion for golf. Let him know that you support him in spending time with activities that make him happy. If that sounds like a hard thing for you to do, start by looking at the things you do that he’s not crazy about but has to accept in relationship with you. You know, girlfriend, that he’s got his list too!!
Also, make sure that you are living your best life and not depending on him to satisfy something that you feel is missing inside you or in your life. That said, if he is not being a true partner to you, bring on your Power Woman and go after what you need. Get it? Got it! Good!!
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- How do you show your husband that you honor his independence and leisure time away from you and the kids?
- Only you know what works with your husband…how are you going to convey to him that you either need or want him to spend more time with the family?
- Can you embrace approaching this with a mindset geared toward flexibility, compromise, and not having to completely get your way (part of any successful negotiation)?
- Can you accept a small victory in this area for now, understanding that the two of you can address this again in the future if your current agreement isn’t working for both of you?
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