I have a casual friend who is a big talker in that he always has something to say and he often stretches the truth. Recently, he tried to tell me that he has lots of money in the bank because he used to be part owner in a business. He lives like a pauper but explained that away by saying he chooses to live a simple life. This sounded like more of a stretch than usual so I caught up with his ex wife and asked her to reveal the truth. I wasn’t surprised to hear that he had lied (or exaggerated the truth) and that he doesn’t have the money he said he did, and he didn’t own the business, he just worked there. How can I trust this guy?
You can’t trust this guy. If he is stretching the truth to this degree you are wise to be wary of anything he says. You should also be careful what you say to him because he sounds like the type that would spread big stories about you as well. Your question prompts me to share with you one of my favorite quotes:
“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” ― Maya Angelou
Walk away from this situation knowing that while you have always known your friend to stretch the truth, this whopper that he told may have crossed the line. It is said that everyone lies to some degree, but there are limits to what you will want to tolerate in a friend. In reading about liars, I ran across information on pathological liars. An interesting study. These are people who lie about things that don’t make sense to lie about. They can be trivial things or they can be lies that impact their jobs, friendships and relationships. One pathological liar that I know (pathological is my personal opinion) once lied to me about what fast food restaurant they went to and I just wanted to say “Who cares whether you went to Wendy’s or McDonalds? Why lie about something so trivial?”; but I’ve also known this same person to tell some BIG lies that were very hurtful to their family. Your friend has shown you who he is…believe him…and act accordingly.
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What other lies has your friend told?
How have you been overlooking his lies?
How will you change your relationship with this “friend” now that he has shown you who he really is?
Who is Joan? What is a Board Certified Life Coach? How do I call her show or send her a life coaching question? Find out @ Joan Jerkovich