A friend of mine is a real social bug and gets invited to everything. I’m ok with that except that she always has to talk about all the parties and events she’s been to until it leaves me feeling left out and unpopular. We’re not in high school anymore so why do I care?
No one likes to feel left out, but your friends’ behavior does sound juvenile. If she persists in talking about all the fun she’s having where you weren’t invited have you tried changing the subject? Or telling her that you don’t want to hear about her partying? Or minimizing the time you spend with this friend?
Most people instinctively take cues from others in conversation, but this person seems to lack basic social awareness. That, or she is so self-absorbed that she always has to be the center of attention. True friends are people we enjoy hanging out with, not those who leave us feeling upset.
You ask why you care, yet it seems natural to feel left out when you don’t get invited, no matter your age. Instead of dwelling on the negative feelings this evokes, try instead being more proactive with making new friends and hosting some of your own get-togethers. There is such a thing as “taking your turn” when it comes to socializing. It takes work, preparation and money to host a party. Maybe taking your turn at host is long overdue?
Keep a positive mindset and this awareness may be just the jump-start your social life has been needing!
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- What does this friendship mean to you?
- How does this friendship fulfill you and make you happy?
- How comfortable are you with your social life?
- Have you thought that you should expand your circle of friends and social activities?
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