I’ve been dating a guy for 2 years and we tried breaking up for 2 weeks but now we’re back together again. Part of the reason we got back together is because we’re part of a group of friends who hang together all the time. Even if I break up with him, I’m going to see him when we hang out with friends.
I’m happier when I’m broken up but he pushed me to give our relationship another try so we’re back together.
I’m 75% sure I should end my two-year relationship. Will I ever be 100% sure?
My answer to this question in one word is “No”. We are never 100% sure of any decision we make.
With any decision that you make, that is difficult for you, take the time to process that decision using the methods that have worked well for you in the past. For some of us, it can be making out a list of pros and cons. For others, we need to discuss the decision with a friend to “bounce” it off of.
Do you have a trusted friend in your group that you can discuss this with? It is more complicated breaking up since you’re all friends and I’m guessing that neither of you wants to leave your friend group? Your friends can help you navigate that change which will undoubtedly make all of you uncomfortable for a while. Be prepared to grit your teeth through the discomfort as in time it will pass.
From what you write, I think you’re on the path to ending your 2-year relationship. Being “happier” when you’re broken up and being “pushed” in to giving it another try are telling statements…
…Whatever your decision, spend some time with it. That way, once it is made you can be more confident that it was the right one for you.
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- Do you think a relationship that only feels 25% OK is one worth saving?
- How long are you willing to stay in a relationship that you’re 75% sure you want to end?
- What problems do you think a breakup will cause amongst your group of friends?
- How might you manage the uncomfortable feelings this breakup will cause when you’re out with your friends?
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