I recently went to the movies with some friends and one of them kept talking through the entire movie. I think he thought he was being funny but all of us were just really annoyed. Some of the other people in the audience were annoyed too because they kept looking over at us.
I’m new to this group of friends and don’t feel comfortable telling him to shut up. Apparently none of the others did either because we suffered through the whole show. I really want to stay friends with the others but this guy is always in tow. Should I say something?
You have a real dilemma on your hands since you’re trying to fit in to this new group of friends. You came to the right person with your question!
I’m an absolute movie buff. It’s not unheard of for my husband and I to attend three movies, at the theatre, in one weekend! We both love movies and I’ve had my share of people sit beside me who are talking, or texting, or chewing their popcorn so loudly I feel like I’m not at the movies, but sitting next to a barnyard pig trough!
I’ve also had to move because someone had such terrible B.O. (body odor) I was gagging. Or then there’s the person who falls asleep and snores through the movie. But, the most distressing movie patrons I’ve ever run in to (and I’ve blogged on this before) was the parents who brought their young girl, she was probably about 7 years old, to the “Wolverine” movie and the little girl was crying and hiding in her seat she was so scared. They didn’t leave with her through the whole movie. They just let her sit there terrified. There’s a reason movies have age ratings! Shame on those parents!
While it’s easy to criticize other people’s movie habits, we’re not perfect attendees either, as my husband often gets called out for Doctor business or we do occasionally share a word or two. But, it ‘s the annoying viewer who keeps it up through the whole movie that is rude and annoying. Just like your friend.
While I am usually the assertive one who complains to management or tells them (in the nicest way I can muster) to be quiet, in your situation I think you should weigh things more carefully. As you are new to this group of friends, and want to fit in, I would say to bite your tongue and wait for one of the others in your group of friends, or another moviegoer, to tell him to shut up.
If you continue to be friends with this group and find yourself on solid footing with these new friendships, and the talking at the movies continues, you could consider asking him to be quiet. Or, you can practice being tolerant. If you do decide to confront the talker there will be tension that will take away from your viewing pleasure until it subsides. Confrontation always causes tension. So, you can tolerate the behavior and do your best to enjoy the movie, or you can tell his to shush.
If you do nothing, sooner or later he’ll end up sitting next to someone like me and I’ll do your dirty work for you!
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
• How do you think your new friends would react to your telling him to be quiet during the movie?
• How do you think the talker would react? Would he turn on you, or graciously quiet down?
• What is his position of power and influence in this group of friends?
• Could he blackball you, get you kicked out of the group?
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Board Certified Life Coach
Click HERE to anonymously send Joan your question!
