My Ex husband ogles other women in front of me, and I think he does it just to annoy and aggravate me. We’ve been legally separated for years but still spend time together with our daughter. I don’t leave him alone with her. The only reason we’re not divorced is that we can’t afford it. I know he’d take me back in a heartbeat but I’m done with him. When he flirts with other women in front of me my first thoughts are “Are you for real” and “what a fool, do you really think they’re interested in you?” Just hearing his voice aggravates me. He’s so annoying. He knows his flirting aggravates me. What can I do about it?
Here’s what you need to do. Even though this will be hard and you will have to pull out your acting skills, you need to not let him see that this bothers you. When you see him flirting with other women or ogling them, act like it doesn’t bother you in the least. Keep a smile plastered on your face and keep your body language soft. Don’t go rigid and tense up. He will sense that and probably gloat inside that he got to you. If you need to, distract yourself. Pull out your smart phone and read through your texts, or at least pretend you are. Walk away from the situation and let him flirt away. Out of sight, out of mind.
The bigger issue here may be why, if you’ve been separated for years, you’re not legally divorced. Even though you say you can’t afford it, we do find money for the things we really want. Other issues may be why you don’t think he can spend time alone with your daughter. Explore options for allowing them their father-daughter time alone, or with someone other than you “supervising” their visits. Even court ordered supervised visits don’t expect that supervisor to be the Ex-wife. They are usually a family member or friend. Things are just too toxic between Exes. Think about how this tension when you’re all together trying to be the family that you’re really not (since you’ve been separated for years), is not good for your daughter.
I know I may be reading between the lines here, but I read that you are having issues with letting go of this relationship. Either that or you are a controlling person. If either of those factors are relevant, you should call me for Life Coaching and we can make a plan for letting go…Oh! You did call!
Listen here for Life Coaching with Veronica in the Podcast, “Aggravated by Exes Flirting; Annoyed by Exes Demands”.