Workaholic husband does not spend time with kids?
Joan Jerkovich - October 30, 2013 7:00 am
I’m happy that my husband is a good provider for me and our two children, but I feel that the kids rarely see their dad. He’s always working late and many nights isn’t home to say goodnight. He works a lot of weekends too and can’t always make it to the kids’ activities. Sometimes I feel like a single mom. I don’t think his boss expects him to work this many hours, but I don’t know how to get him to slow down and spend more time with his family.
Let’s think out of the box on this one, because I’m guessing you’ve tried the expected methods for getting him to spend more time at home. Moving beyond discussing your concerns and possibly nagging him over this, try a different strategy for change. Research tells me that the first thing you should do is make him aware of how his absence is affecting the children, your marriage and family. If you feel you’ve said it many times before, try telling him in a new, creative way that just may get his attention. Have the kids write him a letter or draw an art depiction of the family with him missing (does that sound too passive-aggressive?). Maybe you can make a video clip of the kids talking about how his absence makes them feel. It is common for children of workaholics to feel resentful. However you decide to get the message to him, try and appeal to his compassionate, nurturing side.
Also, let him know that workaholics often use work to cope with their own emotional discomfort and feelings of inadequacy. They suffer from anxiety, depression and have a high level of job stress and dissatisfaction. If you see your husband in this, point him toward counseling. If he understands that this could cost him his children’s respect and possibly break apart his family, he may take steps to reduce his work hours. Unless he opens his eyes to the consequences of his workaholism, it will most likely continue to plague your family.
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- How can you best help your husband “get honest” with how his work habits are affecting the family in a negative way?
- How can you help your husband get in touch with his compassionate, nurturing and emotional side?
- Are there mental health issues such as anxiety and depression adding to your family stress?
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