Wife pushes retired husband back to work?
Joan Jerkovich - October 24, 2013 11:30 am
My whole career I traveled and since I’m fluent in Spanish frequently had to travel outside the country. There was a point where my stay-at-home wife and I struggled since I traveled so much, but now that I’m recently retired she doesn’t seem to want me around. She suggested I get a part-time job. Is this what retirement is supposed to be?
First, make sure your retirement is what you want it to be because it sure sounds like you deserve it! You’ve worked hard to get here so you need to fashion and shape your retirement to what suits you. Fill your day with activities that you enjoy even if that activity is taking a daily nap! Don’t feel that retirement has to be work. If added time for leisure and “doing nothing” appeals to you, do nothing and refuse to feel guilty about it!
Your story about your wife wanting you to get out of the house, and out of her way, is a familiar retirement story. Some couples make this adjustment seamlessly while others struggle. The couples that seem to transition the easiest are the ones where the retiree has outside interests or goals that they have set for their retirement. They’ve been planning for their retirement for several years and are set to launch in to their new hobby or they’ve made plans for volunteer work and more time with friends. Some even enjoy retirement with that part time job you mentioned. What they don’t do is just plop themselves in front of their spouse expecting to be entertained, or waited on, or catered to. Why? Because their spouse has been living their life around you being at work and they’re pretty happy with their daily routines. You’ve earned this time so whatever you decide to do make sure it’s something that will be fun and enriching for you.
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- What interests have you not pursued because of work commitments?
- How can you maintain your independence in your relationship even though you have more time together?
- How will you deal with that feeling of being “a fish out of water” until you find your stride as a newly retired person?
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