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When do Adult Kids Grow Up?

Joan Jerkovich - January 17, 2014 3:28 pm

When do the kids grow up? My two adult children, who are in their 30’s, came home for a visit and got in to such a big fight that my wife and I were ready to send them packing. I doubt they act like this when visiting other places, so why do they think they can come home and leave their manners behind?

Let me guess, I bet there’s a history here of these two “kids” bickering when they get together. Old habits, and personalities that clash, rarely vanish with age. Also, what I think happens is that when adult children come back to the family home for a visit, they feel comfortable in the setting, and let their guard down. You and your wife should consider this a compliment that your children feel so welcome in your home. Enough of the nicey-nice. I read in your question that this is frustrating for you. I get that. When people come in to your home and end up fighting, it casts a pall on the mood of everyone in your home, including you!

You ask when do kids grow up? Some, maybe never. For some it may not be an issue of growing up but of personalities that are prone to create drama. Argumentative people will drag their duffle bag of opinions wherever they go. Set them face to face with another argumentative person and watch the fireworks fly. Your two adult children may be those personalities that get together and bluster up the perfect storm. It will probably just have to play itself out but you do have the right to remind them to use their grownup manners. As king and queen of your own home, you and your wife have the right to tell your kids to either cool it or take their verbal brawl outside. Good luck with this because I can also assume that these children may have learned a few tricks of arguing from dear ole Dad?…called you out on that one, didn’t I? lol

Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
• When would you sit back and let your kids hash this out themselves?
• When might you choose to step in and diffuse the situation?
• What can you do to control your frustration in the midst of a situation you may have no control over?

Joan Jerkovich, BCC Joan Jerkovich, BCC
The Joan Jerkovich Show
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