Wait Until After Holidays to Breakup?
Joan Jerkovich - December 17, 2013 11:28 am
This year has been the worst, and my husband and I know that our marriage is over. This is a second marriage for both of us but we don’t have kids together. We both have school age children. I have full custody of mine, and his visit regularly. In the years that we’ve been a blended family we have a holiday tradition of getting all the kids together for a special evening to open Christmas presents. I’m beyond ready to get out of the marriage but should I wait until after the holiday for the kids sake?
This is a heartbreaker on so many levels, but I’m glad to see that you’re thinking of putting the kids first. Only you can decide whether to stay together through the holidays and one factor to consider is the emotional energy in your household. If you and your husband are resigned to your marriage being over and the split looks to be amicable, staying together a few extra weeks for the kids seems reasonable. If, however, you are at each others throats, yelling and screaming to the point that the children are cowering in fear, then the best gift you might give your kids would be a peaceful holiday with the two of you miles apart.
Many people find the holidays to be stressful just for the sake of the extra work of decorating, gift giving, and all the special preparations holiday gatherings for work or family requires. They are more so with people who are dealing with difficult family issues. What I’ve heard from divorced people who were in your situation is that they waited until after the holiday to file and move out. That was the best decision for them. If you and your soon to be Ex can get through the holiday with a modicum of peacefulness, go ahead and honor your holiday traditions. If it’s going to be an evening of bickering and spoken or silent hostility, don’t mar your children’s holiday with that negative energy. This is difficult for all of you and I wish you the best.
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
• How would you rate the energy in your household with you and your husband heading toward divorce?
• Do you think your children would want you to wait until after the holidays to split up the family, or not?
• What can you do to bring peace your family this holiday?
Who is Joan? What is a Board Certified Life Coach? How do I call her show or send her a life coaching question? Find out @ Joan Jerkovich