Taking the “Sex” out of “Ex”
Joan Jerkovich - November 5, 2013 12:54 pm
Why do people have affairs with their Ex? Wasn’t there a good reason you broke up in the first place? My Life Coaching caller “went there” and has lived to regret it. Her penance? Her current boyfriend, the one she cheated on, is connecting on Facebook looking for his own revenge hook up.
It is said that the number one enticement people have for hooking up with the Ex is remembering their shared history. I guess this means they remember the good stuff and not the crap that killed the relationship; and it sort of makes sense that you would be attracted to your Ex because they are familiar and caught your eye in the first place. This is a sort of fantasy-land playing out in real life.
There can be the fantasy thought that maybe your Ex has changed, and that all the nasty has magically been erased, and you can start back up with a clean slate. Or, maybe you have never gotten over the fact that your Ex was your first real love ~ never mind that they destroyed that love with their drinking or abuse or cheating or general narcissism.
Here’s a factoid for you: 60% of all hookups with an Ex are where one or both of the parties are married to someone else! Cheaters-R-Us!
Forbidden love and forbidden sex are a real turn on. The rush of emotions fueled by the feel good chemicals that dump a rush of hormones, endorphins and oxytocin in to your system when you have an affair with your Ex, set you up with a killer cocktail that feels Ooooh-Soooo-Gooood! But, it’s like that ice cream sundae, with extra whip cream on top, that you know is not on your diet…it sure tasted good going down but now you’re left with the guilt and consequences of “why did I go there?”
Listen to my podcast to hear how to end the affair with your Ex and why these hookups rarely work out. As they say in the Hunger Games: May the odds be ever in your favor.
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Who is Joan? What is a Board Certified Life Coach? How do I call her show or send her a life coaching question? Find out @ Joan Jerkovich