My parents are getting older, and I’m expected to take care of them. My friends say I’m heartless if I put them in a nursing home. I feel obligated to care for them in my own home, but I know both of us would be miserable (work, personalities, etc.). Is it acceptable to let them live in an assisted living facility?
You’ve answered your own question by saying you would both be miserable. To care for an elderly parent in your home is a 24-hour daily commitment. Few people are up to the task. It usually only works to care for an elderly parent in the home if multiple family members are willing to pitch in, and the care doesn’t fall to just one person.
As an alternative to having them live in your home, consider carving out extra time to visit them at the Assisted Living facility. Incorporate activities in to your visits that you both enjoy. When you don’t have the demands of being the person who tends to their daily care needs, you can focus on making your time together enriching to your relationship and extended family. Have fun together!
Plus, who needs enemies when you have friends that lay a guilt trip on you like this one?
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
- Do you have within you the personal power to tell your “friends” to keep their opinions to themselves?
- How can you address your own feelings of guilt?
- What do you need to do to tamp guilty feelings down?
- Have you had problems dealing with guilt over other issues in life?
- How have you dealt with guilt from past issues?
- If you’ve had success in resolving issues of guilt from your past, how can you apply those principles to this issue?
Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” this weekend where the topic is “Elder Care Issues”. How do you coordinate care with siblings? Do the caretakers deserve more inheritance? How can you motivate an elderly person to return to an active lifestyle?
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Board Certified Life Coach
