Introverted Husband, Extroverted Wife; Opposites Attract?
Joan Jerkovich - November 21, 2013 11:02 am
My new husband is a professional who works with people all day, so when he’s off he never wants to hang out with our friends who are also young professionals without kids. He says he gets enough of people at work and enjoys his quiet, alone time. He has always called himself an introvert, but this leaves me wondering if I have a lifetime ahead of either resentfully staying home with him or going out without him?
My advice to you, dear, young wife, is to resolve this in your mind early on because it will save you years of fussing and fighting with your husband. Introverts recharge their batteries and thrive on being alone. For them, being around people in social settings saps their energy. For extroverts, the opposite is true; to be around people energizes them. I’m suspecting that you and your husband are social opposites, hence your angst.
Resolve in your mind that being an introvert is your husband’s nature. Resolve in your mind that he will not change. Resolve in your mind that the two of you can live happily with this difference. How? Go out with your friends alone. Embrace your independence. Adjust your thinking to the fact that it can be self-enriching for you to act independent of your husband. It can be uniquely freeing. Getting married is not getting surgically attached to each other like conjoined twins! How do I know this can work? I could list countless couples in long term marriages that rarely attend social events together or even travel together, yet they’ve found a way to make it work and you can too! Now, if your husband doesn’t think you should do things alone without him, and expects you to spend your life, sitting in the easy chair next to his, watching him flip through channels on the TV remote, then, “Houston, we have a problem!”
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
- What can you do to adjust your thinking on this matter?
- Where could you seek out other couples for advice who have had to deal with this difference?
- How motivated are you to resolve this difference now before it wounds your new marriage?
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