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Do I have to wear my wedding ring?

Joan Jerkovich - November 6, 2013 9:19 am

An annoying, frequent argument that I have with my wife is that she wants me to wear my wedding ring all the time and I don’t want to wear it at all.  I work as a high-tower rescuer so can’t wear it at work due to safety concerns. I can’t risk getting it caught in the ropes and rigging and she understands that, but still wants me to get down from the tower and put my wedding ring on before I leave the rescue site. I’m also a big sportsman and have never wanted to wear a watch or anything else.  Do I have to wear my wear my wedding ring?

This question came from the coolest ever seat-mate on a flight…I’ll call him J-man…

Marriage is all about negotiation and compromise and cutting to the chase the answer to your question is “yes”…and sorry if that wasn’t the answer you wanted to hear.  The bigger question, however, is how much you have to wear your wedding ring. This is where you will have to negotiate with your wife.  She seems pretty intent, no, make that very intent, on having you always wear your wedding ring and you are very intent on not wearing it at all. You are starting your negotiations from complete polar opposites on this issue and both of you will have to compromise.

Understand that your wife could be wanting you to wear your wedding ring for many reasons and that they may have nothing to do with whether or not she trusts you.  Have you asked her what those reasons are?  Are you willing to really listen, hear her, and take to heart why this is so important to her?  Her reasons could be emotionally charged.  Has she ever been cheated on?  While she may trust you, she knows, and you know, that a man who doesn’t wear his wedding ring is more likely to get hit on by single women.  Talk this out knowing that your safety is not up for compromise; but think about this, her safety should not be up for compromise either.  Her feeling emotionally safe is also paramount in these negotiations.  Might I suggest that at a minimum you wear your wedding ring when you’re with her?

Whatever you decide today don’t think it has to last until your 50th wedding anniversary.  This can be renegotiated and, listen up guys, here’s what you need to understand about us women, you listen to us and give us what we want and we will be more inclined to give you what you want…start making your wish list!

A personal note from Joan to J-man~

Hey my friend, I so get your wife on this one because when I was married to my Ex (Ex being the operative word here) this was a big issue for me.  He refused to wear his wedding ring, even when on vacation alone with me (he too had reasons he couldn’t wear it at work, but on vacation??), and it really bothered me.  This was such a “diss” for me that I finally decided to quit wearing my wedding ring and I couldn’t believe the men who hit on me!  I have to admit it was kind of fun, and you can bet I told him, in detail, about each and every incident.  Go figure, shortly after my little experiment he decided to start wearing his wedding ring, but only until I put mine back on (yeah, it was a sicko relationship)…Fast Forward…this was so important to me that before I married my current (super cool, good guy, love of my life) husband, I made sure he was committed to wearing his wedding ring.  After many years of marriage I still notice him wearing it and will play with it on his hand when we’re out to dinner or in bed at night.  For some of us women it’s just a Really Big Deal to have our husbands wear their wedding ring!  I so hope you will meet your wife half way on this one J-man…let me know how it goes…Best~J

Joan Jerkovich, BCC Joan Jerkovich, BCC
The Joan Jerkovich Show
News Radio 1150 KSAL
Saturdays @ 6:05 & 7:05 am CST
Podcast posts to KSAL.com Mondays

 

Who is Joan? What is a Board Certified Life Coach? How do I call her show or send her a life coaching question? Find out @ Joan Jerkovich

 

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