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Fe for a cure

Divorced Dad Sugar Daddy to Woman Barely Old Enough?

Joan Jerkovich - November 3, 2014 7:00 am

My recently divorced Dad has decided to become a sugar daddy to a young woman who’s not much older than me. I know he buys her all sorts of expensive jewelry and clothes. They even went on a trip to Mexico together. I’m afraid my Dad is getting feelings for her. I’m also afraid that the woman is just using my Dad for his money.

Last week she came to my high school music concert and it was so awkward! She’s so trashy and rude. She’s been trying to be my buddy through Facebook but I have just ignored her. My Dad doesn’t seem to care about my feelings when I tell him. Should I just learn to accept this younger woman?

It’s good that you are talking to your Dad about her, but you have to let go of the idea that just because you don’t like his new girlfriend, he’s going to break up with her.

When you say that your Dad is newly divorced, it is hopeful that the young woman who’s not much older than you may be someone he’s only going to go out with for a little while. He may break up with her sooner versus later. Why do I say this?

Newly divorced people sometimes go through a sort of “wild” phase with regards to dating after a divorce. I know this is creepy for the kids to watch, but you might be seeing your Dad working out more and changing the way he dresses. He may be trying to look and act younger.

Right after their divorce, many Dads (and Moms) will date people who aren’t the type of person you’d choose for them. Hopefully, your Dad is going through his post-divorce “wild” phase and will settle down soon. When he does, it’s likely that he will come to realize that this too-young woman isn’t a good long-term match for him.

In the meantime, you are smart to ignore her on Facebook. The fact that she’s trying to befriend you, her boyfriend’s child, points to her immaturity.

While there’s not much you can do with regards to her trashy and rude behavior, maybe you could ask your Dad to not bring her to your school events? Or, you can be polite and say hello to her when she does show up, but not give her any additional attention?

Make sure you let your Dad know that when you spend time with him, you don’t want her along. I don’t think he should force his new girlfriend on you. Your time with your Dad is special, and should be reserved for just the two of you if that’s what you’d like.

With regards to his sugar daddy habits, it has to be hard to see your Dad spending so much money on his girlfriend, but this is another area where you just have to make the best of it. Your Dad’s a grown adult who can make his own decisions on how he spends his money. And, if this new, barely-older-than-his-child girlfriend is where he wants to spend his “entertainment” dollars, you have no control over that.

I know this sucks, but do your best to keep your relationship with your Dad strong, regardless of who his “trashy and rude” woman-of-the-moment is.

Thanks for posting your question anonymously through the Joan Jerkovich website!

Joan Jerkovich, BCC Board Certified Life Coach

Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Board Certified Life Coach

 
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