Mr. Peter Pan Never-Never wants to grow up and wants to live with you in his version of Never-Never Land where you are his Wendy (a.k.a momma) taking care of all the adult things he doesn’t have time for.
What does he have time for? Hangin’ with his lost boys.
While Mr. Peter Pan’s life is full of adventure and fun he can’t be counted on to take the adult lead in his life, much less be an adult partner to you, so don’t frustrate yourself and expect it.
He’s Mr. Self-Involvement who has plenty of time for playing his way through life. He’s like the man my Life Coaching caller talked about who, in her words, “needs constant petting”. He’s Mr. High Maintenance who wants you to take care of him, organize his life, fix his problems, and in general “be his momma.”
Dating him is like dating a 12 year old. You always have to be pointing him in the right direction.
Do you want to mamma your man?
If your man is a Peter Pan you’ll have the sense of feeling more like his parent and less like his partner. You’ll feel frustrated that he never seems to want to advance in his career and instead is complacent with a low level job. His priority isn’t work, it’s play.
You’ll find yourself watching from the sidelines while he spends more time, energy, and money on his newer, bigger, better set of toys, than he does on you. He can’t even be counted on to pay his bills because his budget for toys takes precedence. Besides, momma will dig into her pocket and pay for those silly adult things.
You’re no fun to play with, unless it’s “adult” playtime.
You’ll watch your Peter Pan hang with his lost boys and wonder why he prefers to spend time with them instead of you, that is, until he decides he wants a little “adult fun” and then you’re good to play with. The kind of “adult fun” where the green tights end up in a ball beneath the bed and “after” it’s your job to pick them up, and launder them, and have them ready to wear the next day.
Marriage and commitment are too grown-up for Mr. Peter Pan.
When dating Mr. Peter Pan you can expect the idea of commitment to marriage, or other grown up notions, to not be a priority in his life. He will always have some reason to shun any commitment that involves making plans for the future.
He’s all about living in the moment; and his moment is all about him, and what he wants, and if he doesn’t get it, he’s going to throw a big boy tantrum. Get the picture?
If you find yourself dating Mr. Peter Pan, ask yourself how much of a momma you want to be to your man. If you don’t want to be his Wendy, leave him to run and play and hide from life with his band of lost boys.
You’ll be the one set to fly, not him.
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Board Certified Life Coach
