I’m really attracted to my babysitter’s husband to where I think about cheating on my husband with him. I find reasons to pick the kids up late hoping that he’s home from work and I can see him and talk with him. He’s like my fantasy guy. He’s given me no clue that he’s interested in me so why do I keep crushing on him? Is it because my marriage isn’t great? What would life be without our fantasy men and women? What woman hasn’t had a crush on some hot celebrity? What man hasn’t had fantasies about Selena Gomez or Rihanna (Maxim’s Hot 100 #2&3)? Read from my blog archives about my personal fantasy crush back in the “Magic Mike” days. My newest muses are Hugh Jackman and Chris Hemsworth….oh, I digress to such pleasurable thoughts…but on with your question… Seriously, having a celebrity crush that we all know is unattainable does not carry the danger of crushing on a married man you see on a regular basis. While there is no harm in finding someone attractive, when it gets to the point of obsessing about them, or changing your daily routine for a “chance” encounter, then you’re right to start questioning what is going on in your life. Yes, my guess is that you have allowed this crush to commandeer your thoughts because you are not getting your needs met in your marriage. Duh-you didn’t need to hear that from a Board Certified Life Coach, that’s common sense. A good solid relationship allows for those celebrity crushes and infatuations, and poses no harm. A relationship where your emotional and physical needs are not getting met is at risk for an affair. Don’t get too wrapped up in why you’re crushing on this guy, just acknowledge that you are and see it as a wake-up call that your marriage needs some attention. Figure out what you’re longing for but not getting in your marriage and begin the process of addressing those issues. Get clear on what you feel is missing, then address it by talking with your husband or going to counseling to sort things out. All relationships, intimate and otherwise, require work to keep them running smoothly. My guess is that once you get your needs met in your marriage, Mr. Fantasy won’t look so enticing. Roll up your sleeves and get to work! Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~ • What do you feel, or know, is missing in your marriage? • What plan will you make for how you will address these issues? What is your plan for not embarrassing yourself by saying or doing something inappropriate with your babysitter’s husband that you would live to regret? He’s dating 4 women. He says he’s in love with them all and unwilling to give any one of them up. Is he having sex with all these women? Do they know about each other? Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” this weekend for answers to those questions and to hear his rationale for why he thinks it’s OK to date 4 different women at the same time!
Joan Jerkovich, BCCBoard Certified Life Coach[/caption]
