I’ve been trying to break up with my boyfriend, but he doesn’t seem to accept the fact that I’d like to remain a friend, but am not interested in being in a relationship anymore. I feel bad about this because he’s kind of a loner, and I’m sort of the only person he’s close to, so I stay in touch. How can I get him to understand I just want to be friends?
Your question holds the answer to why he’s clueless about this. If you want him to understand that you’re not a couple, you will need to go cold turkey on him. Stop the phone calls, texts, Facebook messaging and all means of communication. Your “staying in touch” may appear to him that you haven’t really broken up or there’s a chance of getting back to where you used to be as boyfriend/girlfriend.
Some couples can pull off the “just friends” routine after a breakup but most cannot. Being friends with a girl is especially hard for guys because…you’ve heard me say it many times before…guys are hard-wired to want to have sex. If there is any hope of turning your relationship in to a friendship, it’s best to have no contact for, let’s say, six months, and then give it a try; but don’t be surprised if he broaches the subject of your being “friends with benefits”.
Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
- What do you need to do to remain accountable to the~No Contact~rule for breaking up?
- If you felt overly responsible for the emotional well being of a boyfriend from a past relationship, how did you get over that feeling and move on?
- What do you need to do to not feel guilty over leaving him “alone”?
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Board Certified Life Coach
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